I know it’s been ages since I’ve blogged. I’m not even going to look at the date of my last post. In any case, I’ve had a much needed hiatus, during which I’ve been building my private practice, working hard on my other writing, attending to a loved-one’s health crisis—now resolved—and enjoying the ongoing adventures of being a parent.
Which brings me to Mother’s Day—just two days away—on which we’ll honor our mothers , and (if mothers ourselves) be honored in turn. This year, I’m not going to write about my mother, though she deserves it, since this has been an especially wonderful and rich year for our relationship. I think I’ll save that for another post.
Today, I want to honor all the mothers out there who—through no fault of their own—are not doing much mothering of the kind they’d like. I am thinking of all the waiting mothers.
First, the expectant moms, who have weeks or months to go before holding their children for the first time. To you, I send a smile and one word: soon.
Then there are the mothers-to-be-someday, those trying to conceive, some trying for a long time. Maybe you are not a mother yet, but you deserve to be. I know you think about your child as much as I think of mine. For you, I wish hope and the belief that someday, you will have a child. Infertility is not your whole story. One way or another you will be a mom.
Then, the mothers-to-be who are in Home Study, or somewhere along the road to adoption, gathering paper work, awaiting word from a birth mother, awaiting a referral, or waiting to travel overseas to meet your child for the first time. For you, I wish patience. It will happen. It really, really will.
Next, I am thinking of mothers who spend their days in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, or in other hospital wards, entrusting the care of their children to medical professionals, awaiting word, awaiting news, awaiting a chance to touch and hold and parent their children. For you, I wish strength. For you, I wish love, and that you are not alone. For you, I wish good news.
And finally, I am thinking of the nearly three hundred Nigerian mothers whose daughters have been stolen away by the Boko Haram terrorist group. I can only imagine the pain and the rage you must feel toward your daughters’ captors, toward a world in which this horror can happen. For you, I wish relief from the nightmare of wondering where your girl is and what she is enduring. Most of all, I wish for you the swift, safe return of your child and the comfort of holding her in your arms again. To all: If you have not had a chance, please read Nicholas Kristof’s New York Times article, Honoring the Missing Schoolgirls, in which he identifies several tangible ways to support women and girls in Africa as a tribute to the missing daughters.
Wishing you a peaceful Mother’s Day.